My dearest sweet angel, That awful fateful morning I was awaken by the screams coming from your sister and brother I knew you were gone. I ran to you and you were so cold and so blue. I picked you up and held you and rocked you until they came to take you away. I called 911 and they had me do CPR on you but it was to late. You were already gone. That fateful day my whole world as I knew it fell completely apart. I could no longer stroke your cheek or hold you in my arms. You were gone. If only I had 1 more day with you. It has been a long hard road to travel here on earth without you. This coming up Wednesday will be 3 years since we buried you. I have had a very hard time with all of this. The moment I lost you I lost me too. All of me went with you. My whole intire world fell apart. I am no longer who I use to be. To be honest with you I really don't like the new person I am. I still live in such a horrible fog. As if though I don't even exist. Going through the motions and hardly fuctioning. I miss you so much baby. Everyday I wish you were here so I could hold you and touch you. There is so much I dreamed of. It kills me to know that I didn't get to watch you grow up, marry, have your own children or anything. Do you remember you little purple teddybear? Well I had grandma put your picture on it and I take with me everywhere I go. You are my guardian angel. For a very long time I even had to sleep with it just to be able to continue. I know in my heart that someday I will be with yiou again. That moment God calls me home I know you will be there to welcome me. You will take my hand and guide along my way. We will once again be together. I dream of that day. The day I first laid eyes on you was the best day of my entire life. The moment I found out that I was going to have a baby my whole world changed. I was just a young teen that had pretty much given up. Until you came along. You changed my whole outlook on life and brought me such hope and contentment. I finally had someone to love and love me unconditionally. I always had so many dreams for you and your future. Thank you so much for all the happiness and joy you brought to my life. I will be forever grateful for the time we did spend together. Please always remember how much I love and miss you. Please continue to watch over us. Please..please...please don't ever forget me. I love you with every part of my entire being and miss you like I could never even begin to explain. You were my reason for living. I will always cherish every minute I had with you...way to short though. forever love,
Your Mommy
